The Accident

I am really, really stupid.

At around 3 am on Tuesday, May 2oth, In a moment of age appropriate, substance-related lapse of sense, I had a pretty serious accident. After ingesting the better part of a fifth of rum, I fell off the 14 foot deck behind my house and broke the fall with my face. My friends, who were accompanying me in the "celebration" decided that an ambulance was probably in order, which was good considering I fractured the floor of my right eye socket and swallowed enough blood to make me puke. So off I went, barefoot, without identification or my glasses.

My teeth, which once enjoyed an even bite, suddenly undid 4 years of orthodontisty in a matter of seconds. The bottom front teeth became loose. And when I bite down now, only teeth on the right side of my face actually touch together. It's a real shame. Also upsetting is the fact that the nerve that controls the feeling in the middle portion of the right side of my face (everything from my bottom eyelid to my top lip inclusively) got pinched in the giant fracture below my eye. The doctors in the Baltimore were certain that I would need surgery to avoid having my eyeball sink into my face without the bone to hold it up, but after 2 separate experts examined the x-rays, they determined surgery was not in order. They said the fracture was serious (i saw the x-rays and agree), but off center enough to allow my eye to remain in its position. However, they told me the feeling in my face may or may not return over time. Since the accident was 2 weeks ago and i havent had swelling since the first week, it's not looking very hopeful in that way.

It hurts to smile. It hurts to squint. I'm not allowed to sneeze or blow my nose. Strangely, I am healing at what doctors called "an alarming rate." One doctor saw me 3 days after falling and thought It had been after 3 WEEKS. I no longer have bruises or much swelling, but the dull pain and the feeling that something is being pushed into the under side of my eye lingers unpleasantly. :/

Basically, Percocet made me feel like shit. and muscle relaxers really didn't do anything. After they told me I wouldn't need surgery, I was allowed to take blood thinners (like Ibuprofen) again. WOOO! Ibuprofen did more to dull the almost paralyzing pain in my neck and collar bone than any of the prescription pain killers.

I see the face in the mirror and it looks like me, but the nerves in my face are telling my brain something entirely different. It feels like the right side of my face is frozen in a sneer at all times and when I see myself, there is a disconnect in the reality and the feeling.

I didn't really mention how important my friends were during this whole affair. Ryan, Gwenn, and John are a stalwart gang that anyone would want to have around when times get tough (or vomitty). Ryan, thank you. You'll never see this, but thank you anyway. thank you for calling, for riding with me, for driving my bitch of a car when nobody else could, for holding my hair back, for everything. And Gwenn, oh my god, Gwenn! You must have given me that little wet lollypop sponge 100 times! You are... my hero. And John, when you attempted to take my desperate need to pee into your own hands when the staff became to busy to care, I seriously fell in love with you.

I didn't realize that the emergency people had cut off my clothes until around the time I tried to get dressed again and found my clothes and bra in pieces. But I did get a sweet pair of grey hospital socks with little white traction pads out of the ordeal!

My mom and dad, who had been in PA helping gram and granddad move, drove down to Baltimore as soon as Ryan had called them. The 3 of us packed my stuff and continued the 10-hour trek back to Lexington (Kentucky) that same night. Perhaps I was still in shock, because I really don't recall much of the drive. I do remember the neck brace though. It pressed into the bruised section of my chest and chin and made it difficult for me to breathe without incredible pain.

Basically, I have really awesome friends and family and only a slightly asymmetrical face.

Okay. I gotta go to sleep. It's after 4 am!

Oh, and I just finished reading a thoroughly depressing book called The Reader by Bernhard Schlink. Before that I had quickly re-read Hatchet by Gary Paulsen as a sort of comfort book when I first came home.

This was taken about 3 or 4 days after i got home if i recall. It doesn't look like anything more than a black eye, right? crazy.